No. 158: Toxic Twins

No. 158, "Toxic Twins" by Tom Wills, June 2012

The first Aerosmith album that I had was "Toys In The Attic." The year was 1978.

Because I made the mistake of having it on a self-destructing 8-track tape cartridge, "Toys" also wound up being the first Aerosmith album I stole.  My future sister-in-law had a beat-to-hell vinyl version that I took from the basement one night and kept.

Steven Tyler and Joe Perry

It would have been mine, anyway, 30 years later when her basement got gutted and all of that yummy vinyl came to my house.

Yummy vinyl.

I now have a better copy of "Toys," but kept the crappy one because I keep thinking someday she's gonna come looking for it.
What a great record. "Walk This Way," "Sweet Emotion," "Toys In The Attic," "Adam's Apple," "No More No More," "You See Me Cryin'." I can roll off the song titles from memory.

Hormones in overdrive, I went out and bought "Rocks," still my fave, with sick shit like "Back In The Saddle," "Sick As A Dog," "Get The Lead Out," "Combination" and "Lick And A Promise." Crunchy-clanky-clangy-bangy. 

Joe Perry gets some hands.

Aerosmith is really Steven Tyler's big ugly mouth and Joe Perry's big beautiful black guitar.  Someone dubbed them the Toxic Twins because of all their excess.
Joey Kramer is a helluva drummer; Brad Whitford on guitar and Tom Hamilton on bass round out the crew.
But without Tyler/Perry, it's garage rock. This has been a problem, two or three times over their now-lengthy career. 

Steven likes his scarves.

October 1978, "Live Bootleg," senior year, epic. Out of tune, crappy design, crummy sound, sloppy performances. Two non-sentences! It was the perfect soundtrack to my last year of high school, first job, first real car, actual girlfriend -- who tolerated Aerosmith.
But really, it was guy music, and MY dudes and I were rolling with it. Rolling, rolling and rolling.

The Glimmer Twins watch as Toxic Twins take shape.

The boys in A-smith looked like they were having fun -- too much fun.
They went a little snowblind and lost it. "Draw The Line" (get it?) was cool but not memorable. "Night In The Ruts" was half-baked (they were fully baked).
By the time of "Rock In A Hard Place," Joe Perry and Brad Whitford had split and Steven Tyler sounded like crap. Three good songs on that record, barely.

"Draw The Line"

Darkness descended upon dudes everywhere.
Included in this darkness, at least by me, is the first step toward reconciliation, the Tyler-Perry-Run DMC cover of "Walk This Way."
Ugh. (Go ahead, be a hater.)

"My Fist Your Face"

Four years later. Joe and Brad were back and so was Aerosmith, with 1985's "Done With Mirrors."  Get that one?
The juggernaut began anew: "Permanent Vacation," "Pump,' "Get A Grip," and a few more whose titles I can't recall. Diane Warren writing sappy hit ballads for the great Tyler/Perry?  Armageddon.

For me, the real deal remains those first five or six Columbia Records albums, which I still have on vinyl and loved to death.  Everything that came afterward, in the compact disc era, doesn't have the same crunchy-clanky-clangy-bangy.

Go, Joe.